Another Onion Gem: Science Channel Refuses To Dumb Down Science Any Further

Punkin Chunkin, for Christ’s sake,” added Bunting, referring to the popular program in which contestants launch oversized pumpkins into the air using catapults. “What more do you people want?”

also:

“People liked that the particle accelerators were really huge, but apparently the show didn’t have enough smashing to hold their interest,” said a former employee who wished to remain anonymous.

and:

“It’s like, just quit your yapping and dip the chain saw into the liquid nitrogen already.”

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Dave Semeniuk spends hours locked up in his office, thinking about the role the oceans play in controlling global climate, and unique ways of studying it. He'd also like to shamelessly plug his art practice: davidsemeniuk.com