Field work: orations of a bitter oceanographer

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Things to do on a boat, by David Semeniuk.

  • Spend 3 days waiting to go to sea.
  • Surf the net for three days while waiting to go to sea.
  • Eat freshly baked cookies for three days while waiting to go to sea.
  • Go through your entire ration of exquisite coffee for three days while waiting to go to sea.
  • Create a stop animation of your blow-up shark while waiting to go to sea.
  • Go hot tubbing.
  • Get shnockered.
  • Steal your bunk mate’s camera and take a dozen pictures of yourself eating his stash of Belgian truffles while waiting to go to sea.
  • Nurse a black eye and a hang over while waiting to go to sea.
  • Spend the next day awkwardly avoiding your bunk mate while waiting to go to sea.
  • Find your shampoo has been replaced with bleach while waiting to go to sea.
  • Ask the Chief Scientist for a new birth assignment and lotion for your bald scalp while waiting to go to sea.
  • After 3 days, go to sea!

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Dave Semeniuk spends hours locked up in his office, thinking about the role the oceans play in controlling global climate, and unique ways of studying it. He'd also like to shamelessly plug his art practice: davidsemeniuk.com