by Nick Thornton
Your boyfriend wants to be pretty. He wants a nice dress (not something garish, at least not for all occasions), he wants a pink “girlie” drink (it makes sense to attribute gender to liquids after all) and he want to be a part of girls’ night because he wants to gossip and talk about how he feels too.
He wants to be held and told that he’s safe and is loved. He wants to fall asleep in a soft bed and dream soft dreams. He wants to wake up to a homemade breakfast and his favourite flowers. He wants to stay home sick and watch Project Runway or Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Maybe he’ll watch some Die Hard later.
He wants to be a fierce diva. He wants to walk into a club with his friends and let his hair down. He wants to dance with wild abandon when his favourite Beyonce song comes on and he wants his friends to join. He wants his friends to tell him they love him, without fear of rejection, insult, violence or judgement.
Your boyfriend wants to covet a towering pair of the sassiest heels around, in his favourite colour, and he wants them to sit like a trophy in his closet, not hidden but loud and proud. And your boyfriend wants to act as interested as he actually is when you go shopping for clothes. He’ll sit on that little bench for lost man friends and pretend to look bored. He’ll become engrossed in his phone, too intent on nothing in particular. But out of the corner of his eyes: colours, shapes, textures, all forbidden to him. He’s interested. But he’d just look silly so he keeps to his phone. Maybe he goes over to the video game store instead. Pretending to be 13 makes way more sense to him than being himself and telling his girlfriend she’s just picked a super cute blouse that will make her eyes stand out.
Your boyfriend wants to chop wood too. He wants to pretend he’s good at building things (maybe he even is) and he wants to make you a kitchen table you’ll prize for years and years. He wants to hold you and tell you that you are safe and loved. He wants to be responsible, do the things that need to be done and provide for you. He wants to be Mr. Fix-it/Safety/James Bond/seasoned-intellectual. He wants to pay for bills, leave big tips and negotiate a reasonable price for a good, reliable car.
But then again… don’t you want to do those things too?