The SBC Score -or- “The likelihood of getting laid with a hairy-as-hell body” Score

Taking heed to David Ng’s call for personal science eponyms during tonight’s ASIC 200 lecture, I have created the Semeniuk-Bjorge-Colby (SBC) Score (fun squiggly hair looking symbol):

a = the ratio of covered skin surface area and skin surface area covered with hair
p = a “pity factor” that is greater than zero; no one remains a virgin forever
k = an experimentally determined constant (greater than zero) that takes into consideration any extraneous like or dislike or hair/hairlessness; it enhances or dampens the potential lust of a suitable mate, contingent on the mate’s preference for beard style, hair patchiness, and overall physique.

The resulting figure illustrates the usefulness of the SBC Score (assuming p=0.1, and k=0):

Therefore, those at either extreme (hairy and hairless) fare much better than those with a bit of hair (i.e. males unwanted by either group of potential mates). It should be noted that, due to the development of clothing, evolutionary pressures have resulted in “a” becoming its inverse. In turn, the SBC score has a maximum score for which hairy naked men are found attractive, while naked hairless men have the potential to join the ranks of beach deities. Further support for this contention is gained through a simple model study of the defined parameters: by halving “a” (i.e. where the ratio of total amount of hairy skin is twice that of the amount of skin covered by clothing), the SBC score decreases (red curve).

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Dave Semeniuk spends hours locked up in his office, thinking about the role the oceans play in controlling global climate, and unique ways of studying it. He'd also like to shamelessly plug his art practice: