A Conversation at The Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights, as Imagined by Blake Frederick

The Ubyssey reports:

The AMS has filed a complaint to the United Nations regarding the federal and provincial government’s failure to meet obligations to provide accessible post-secondary education for international students.

The complaint was submitted to the UN High Commissioner for Human Rights, Navanethem Pillay. The report reads that the AMS is submitting the complaint on behalf of its members, along with former AMS VP Administration Tristan Markle and through the law firm Pivot Legal LLP.

AMS councilors have responded to Frederick on Twitter, asking how much the report cost and expressing their displeasure and confusion that the complaint did not go to AMS Council beforehand.

Jeremy McElroy, Arts representative, asked Frederick on Twitter: “Where the hell did this UN complaint come from? Most certainly not Council, for whom you are quoted as representing?”

——

Assistant: Commissioner Pillay!
Pillay: What is it, Jean?
Assistant: I have a letter for you, madam.
Pillay: Well, I’m a little busy at the moment. After all, I am the UN’s High Commissioner for Human Rights.
Assistant: But it’s urgent.
Pillay: Can’t it go through the mail pile like all the—
Assistant: No, it can’t wait.
Pillay: Why?
Assistant: It’s from Canada.
Pillay: Close the door now.
Assistant: What do I tell the delegation from Haiti?
Pillay: I don’t know. Tell them we’re breaking for lunch. Just lock the door.
Assistant: Yes madam.
Pillay: *begins reading*
Assistant: What is it about?
Pillay: It’s about rising tuition at Canadian universities.
Assistant: No.
Pillay: It seems that students who pay some of the lowest tuition fees in the developed world will now have to pay significantly more.
Assistant: That’s horrendous and totally deserving of our attention!
Pillay: It’s a good thing this guy Frederick came to us.
Assistant: Why didn’t he contact us earlier?
Pillay: People act desperately during humanitarian crises.
Assistant: What are we going to do?
Pillay: You know that guy I was going to assign to our research group on development in Somalia?
Assistant: Roberto?
Pillay: I’m putting him on this.
Assistant: Good idea.
Pillay: And you know those funds that we were going to direct into the Rwanda group? Send them into Canada research.
Assistant: Yes, madam.
Pillay: *starts tearing up*
Assistant: What is it Commissioner Pillay?
Pillay: Oh, it’s this story they attached near the end about a poor boy named Tristan. Apparently, despite working part-time and receiving grants, he still accrued $42,000 in debt while completing his second bachelor’s degree at UBC.
Assistant: Those bastards.
Pillay: I can’t finish reading this.
Assistant: Commissioner Pillay?
Pillay: Yes Jean?
Assistant: I have a suggestion.
Pillay: What is it?
Assistant: We should send this to the Security Council.
Pillay: This is why I hired you, Jean.
Assistant: What kinds of sanctions should we propose.
Pillay: I don’t care. Sanction everything.
Assistant: Good idea, madam. This is Nobel Peace Prize material.

The AMS has filed a complaint to the United Nations regarding the federal and provincial government’s failure to meet obligations to provide accessible post-secondary education for international students.

The complaint was submitted to the UN High Commissioner for Human Rights, Navanethem Pillay. The report reads that the AMS is submitting the complaint on behalf of its members, along with former AMS VP Administration Tristan Markle and through the law firm Pivot Legal LLP.

AMS councilors have responded to Frederick on Twitter, asking how much the report cost and expressing their displeasure and confusion that the complaint did not go to AMS Council beforehand.

Jeremy McElroy, Arts representative, asked Frederick on Twitter: “Where the hell did this UN complaint come from? Most certainly not Council, for whom you are quoted as representing?”

Assistant: Commissioner Pillay!
Pillay: What is it, Jean?
Assistant: I have a letter for you, madam.
Pillay: Well, I’m a little busy at the moment. After all, I am the UN’s High Commissioner for Human Rights.
Assistant: But it’s urgent.
Pillay: Can’t it go through the mail pile like all the—
Assistant: No, it can’t wait.
Pillay: Why?
Assistant: It’s from Canada.
Pillay: Close the door now.
Assistant: What do I tell the delegation from Haiti?
Pillay: I don’t know. Tell them we’re breaking for lunch. Just lock the door.
Assistant: Yes madam.
Pillay: *begins reading*
Assistant: What is it about?
Pillay: It’s about rising tuition at Canadian universities.
Assistant: No.
Pillay: It seems that students who pay some of the lowest tuition fees in the developed world will now have to pay significantly more.
Assistant: That’s horrendous and totally deserving of our attention!
Pillay: It’s a good thing this guy Frederick came to us.
Assistant: Why didn’t he contact us earlier?
Pillay: People act desperately during humanitarian crises.
Assistant: What are we going to do?
Pillay: You know that guy I was going to assign to our research group on development in Somalia?
Assistant: Roberto?
Pillay: I’m putting him on this.
Assistant: Good idea.
Pillay: And you know those funds that we were going to direct into the Rwanda group? Send them into Canada research.
Assistant: Yes, madam.
Pillay: *starts tearing up*
Assistant: What is it Commissioner Pillay?
Pillay: Oh, it’s this story they attached near the end about a poor boy named Tristan. Apparently, despite working part-time and receiving grants, he still accrued $42,000 in debt while completing his second bachelor’s degree at UBC.
Assistant: Those bastards.
Pillay: I can’t finish reading this.
Assistant: Commissioner Pillay?
Pillay: Yes Jean?
Assistant: I have a suggestion.
Pillay: What is it?
Assistant: We should send this to the Security Council.
Pillay: This is why I hired you, Jean.
Assistant: What kinds of sanctions should we propose.
Pillay: I don’t care. Sanction everything.
Assistant: Good idea, madam. This is Nobel Peace Prize material.

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Nick is an undergraduate studying history and economics at UBC. Nick is interested in international relations, philosophy of mind, creative writing, design, marketing, and a bunch of other things. Nick produces music, does graphic design, and sometimes plays tennis.