The Vatican has put together an upbeat, modernized version of the seven deadly sins for Catholics to fret about (link – the first seven still count p.s.). They include questionable scientific experimentation, genetic manipulation, and polluting the environment. Naturally I thought, “If the Vatican can do it, why can’t I?”
And why can’t you?
Here is my list of modern and remixed sins everyone should be absolved of one day:
- Thou shalt neither be hip nor square, only penitent.
- Thou shalt not inflict poverty or wear condoms, but AIDS is cool.
- Thou shalt not die for false idols; we’ve got it covered.
- Thou shalt not wait for the entire chorus of “
I ranIn Da Club” to play on your cell phone before answering it. - Thou shalt not mix oranges and toothpaste
- Thou shalt not, under any circumstances, use “Lol” or “brb” colloquially….ever
Any other ideas?
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3 Responses to Proposed sins #15-19 awaiting approval of Vatican Supervisory Committee on Morally Deplorable Acts (VSCMDA)
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My Three Commandments to the Vatican, future Commandments TBA:
Thou shalt heed the advice of Prophet Dan Savage in all matters related to homosexuality!
Thou shalt remove thy laws from mine own uterus!
Thou shalt credit the Quakers for thinking about the excessive wealth one long before thou did! Wait, wasn’t that already in the teachings of your Prophet? Oh never mind!
Thou shall not play hacky sack if thou sucks at it…
[...] in March, the Vatican issued a new set of 7 sins for Catholics to adhere to. Included among them was environmental pollution. Well, the Pope [...]